The Pope has spoken of his admiration and respect of Glitter's recent conduct, as an example of 'how all of us can use strange clothing, repetitive songs, and erratic behavior, in order to distract, and ultimately attain public approval' after what the Vatican describes as 'unfortunate conduct with suggestively dressed minors'.
"Glitter has really nailed how to throw off public disdain for child buggery, which from our point of view is absolute gold dust." Said excited Catholic priest, Malcolm Dewberry. "We used to just try and keep everything 'in house', but nowadays the PC Brigade are breathing down our necks over the slightest infringement. It's political correctness gone nuts.
A lot of our priests just simply haven't had the right media training. Take Angus for example, he enjoys long bouts of bloody self flagellation, spends a lot of time mumbling into his bible whilst rubbing rosary beads, and is physically sick at the thought of having sex with anyone over the age of ten. He's also clinically insane, and likes to descend into shrieking judgemental rants loosely based on random passages from Leviticus. So he's pretty much the ideal candidate for priesthood, but just isn't too media savvy, which really lets him down. What he needs is a mentor like Glitter to demonstrate how to set up a Twitter account, build a fanbase through occasional witty comments and links to funny youtube videos, like people parking their cars badly, with hilarious results! Add the bizarre flashy clothing into the mix, which we're already on board with, and people are generally too distracted to care about what happened in your past. It's win win."
Some members of society have voiced concerns about whether it's appropriate for a convicted paedophile to promote his comeback tour on Twitter, but their comments have been widely condemned by people who assert that Glitter is a 'legend' posting comments such as, 'his music still rocks and it don't matter what he did in the past we've all made mistakes yeah?'
Britain in the 21st century - surely all out nuclear war would just be a sweet release?