Almost the entire male population could be suffering from the devastating disease that is sex addiction, according to shocking new figures released yesterday, which demonstrate that practically every male on the planet would probably quite like to have no strings sex with lots and lots of attractive women, if given the chance.
It appears that wider society is only just waking up to this illness, with Steve McQueen's new film Shame asking the question 'would most men like to jump into bed with a girl they'd just seen on the tube, with buttock hugging jeans and a glint in her eye that says she goes like the clappers?' The answer, tragically, appears to be yes.
Evidence demonstrates that tall, well moneyed and attractive men seem much more prone to the disease, whilst celebrities are especially at risk. Russel Brand is just one such example of the horrific impact this disease can have on someone's life. His career was just beginning to get going when sex addiction struck. The result? Literally endless amounts of copulating with a virtual army of willing participants, leaving him barely enough time to forge an acting career, appearing in only three or four Hollywood films, when he could have been in about five or six. Make no mistake about it, sex addiction ruins careers as well as lives.
Men across the UK are being urged to seek help if they feel they might be suffering from any symptoms, whilst the government issued the following statement to the male population of the UK:
'Do you want a queue of easy going, stunningly attractive ladies lined up outside your bedroom, eager to distract you from tasks such as clearing your backlog of work emails, entertaining in-laws, or cleaning your newly born infant's feces from your Ikea sofa? The answer is obviously no, of course you don't. But that's the situation you'll find yourself in if you let yourself succumb to this terrible disease. If in doubt, seek help now.'