For me they would be: having a ponytail; leaving your shirt out to hide a bit of a tum (I do this, but can't help it); being very overweight and wearing shorts; being very big, fat, shaved head, covered in tattoos; wearing trousers/jeans that show lunch-box in 3-D; wearing track suits over the age of 20.
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
What are the biggest clothing/appearance gaffes that men make?
(34 posts) (13 voices)
-
antharrison
offlineMemberAbout 20 years ago I did an MBA, and the first few days were spent on an outdoor pursuits team-building course (caving, climbing, cycling and most horrifyingly abseiling). We all stayed (about 30 of us) in a giant tent in a muddy field.
Anyway, one of the students was a middle-aged GP called Dr Sayeed, who turned-up wearing a business suit, shirt and tie and a pair of office shoes. To everyone's astonishment he didn't get changed and stayed in the suit whilst we all wore hiking boots and waterproofs. He even slept in it.
He did all the activities wearing his suit. On the last day we were split into teams and had to do various activities to win points which were then used to "buy" components for a raft (planks and barrels etc). Poor old Dr sayeed's team didn't do very well and only had enough to buy two barrels - not a very stable architecture in my view.
The time came for the teams to paddle the raft into the middle of the lake and collect items from an island. Within 2 seconds of setting off Dr Sayeed and his team were, of course, in the water and completely drenched.
At that point Dr Sayeed disapppeared. 10 minutes later he came back - dressed in - wait for it - another bloody suit.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberAny lycra at any age, unless it is required for a professional sporting activity.
Men who dress like teenagers when they are old enough to remember when teenagers were invented.
Bald or receding hair with long, skanky grey pony-tails in the style of Francis Rossi.
"Wacky" outfits of any kind.
Posted 3 years ago # -
sauce
offlineMemberThere ARE comb overs still around, Pucky. One of Mr Sauce's American colleagues has the most amazing, mezmerising comb over. And this is a guy with a top flight science degree and an MBA.
I love ponytails, but not on aging wannabe still young chaps. When Mr Sauce was a strapping young hunk of 22 I tried to persuade him to grow his hair but he declined.
What's appropriate depends on the setting and the other people.
Posted 3 years ago # -
edward hack
offlineMemberAlthough 'syrups' are the most belittling things imaginable the world would be a much poorer place without them.
Next time your flight is delayed and you've had enough of charades, why not try a quick fire round of 'Spot the Syrup'.... hours of fun.
Who else finds it virtually impossible not to stare at the poor chap's 'rug' once he's been outed.We had a regular customer to our shop in IronBridge who's combover almost certainly started from his pubic hair....we had to stay in seperate rooms while he was in the shop for fear of 'corpsing' Pete and Dud style
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberWhich is worse? Hair plugs, rugs, or comb-overs?
Posted 3 years ago # -
PluckyMunky
offlineMemberOh gawd, Jeni, stop getting technical. Can you 'see' hair plugs? For me, comb-overs are the very worst, rugs are right behind them and...er..I don't know enought about hair plugs. They don't sound very nice though.
I used to look after people who had ingrowing hairs in their botties, removed, called "pilonidal sinus'". They weren't very nice either.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberAbsolutely agree about Johnny Depp shitsu. He's also exempt from the pony-tail rule.
As is Anthony Keidis.Posted 3 years ago # -
PluckyMunky
offlineMemberMr Reporter, I am sure that you are handsome as the Mr Depp and Mr Beckham, to whom the lovely Shitsu refers. Otherwise, avoid mirrors, like what I do. The worst ones are the ones that creep up on you in the bigger stores. You are just thinking, 'who is this ugly fucker in front of me?' and it turns out to be yourself.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberI have a rule that after applying make-up, doing my hair and getting all dressed up for a night out, under no circumstances will I look in a mirror.
The image I have of myself in my head is ALWAYS very different to the reality after a few drinks in a warm pub. After midnight, it's guaranteed that the carefully applied eye make-up will now be sitting snuggly in my wrinkles, my artfully teased and styled barnet will be flatter than a flat fish after being run over by a steam roller, and my fashionably hip clothing will look bedraggled and dated.
Far safer to live in ignorant bliss.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberI think we've met ...
Posted 3 years ago # -
sauce
offlineMemberJeni, I hate to say this, but it gets worse as you get older. I got rat-arsed at a colleague's hen night last year when we'd dressed up OTT and I caught a glimpse in a glass door and looked round to see who the chap in drag was. Never could walk in 5" heels at the best of times. How I didn't break my leg that night I'll never know.
But I've discovered I can manage people better now I am no longer young and cute: respect is worth the wrinkles (and I've earned them). Mhwhahahaha.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberSauce, I've got the perfect cure for wrinkles at the moment. It's called Sinusitis, and it's filled out all my eye-wrinkles.
I foolishly agreed to allow a friend who does eye-lash extensions to use me as a guinea-pig for advertising pics. The results were stunning. It was an unbelievable transformation as instantly I became Lily Savage's rough daughter.
Anyway, the extensions were so long, I needed an eyelid flunky to keep my eyes open.I don't think I'll ever be able to manage people, but that's a height thing more than anything else. When you are short, you run the risk of "Napolean Complex" being thrown at you if you are in any way assertive.
Posted 3 years ago # -
MADJEZ
offlineMemberTaking the topical angle my absolute pet-hate is politicians doing photo-ops kicking a football in a business suit and shiny shoes ! You wouldn't think to do it any other time and every other country in the world they'd do it in casual clothes. There's just something utterly twattish about trying to do something sporty in a suit (can't believe that doctor earlier).
The other one is (particularly party leaders) taking off their ties to look 'casual'. I'm sorry but you are wearing a highly expensive Saville Row suit which isn't designed to be worn without a tie. If you wore a more casual shirt and jacket you might get away with it (something only Cameron seems to have thought of). Nick Clegg is the biggest offender.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberJust had a flashback to Prescott racing some school kids on an athletics track, wearing a suit. Muppet.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMember"Muppet" is the only accurate way to describe Sturgeon. (Does anyone else see a fish theme in the SNP?)
That hair is straight from Jim Henson.One of our local SNP MSP's is Shona Robison, her hair, before she started to straighten it, was so curly, velcro was magically drawn towards it. If that's what her head was like, I'd dread to think of "down below"!
Posted 3 years ago #
Reply »
You must log in to post.