The Met Office today warned that the unusually warm winter will prevent the usual flock of Climate Change Deniers from wintering in the country. This will prevent people from hearing their traditional call "global warming is made up", which can often be heard in pubs and see in the comments on the Daily Mail web site.
The Daily Telegraph is particularly sad about this situation. The editor said "The harshness of a cold winter is always lightened by the appearance of the Climate Change Deniers, which we are glad to show in our paper alongside photographs of women in skimpy bikinis being forced to migrate abroad for the mid-winter."
He went on to say "this winter is so warm that we can't even include any steamy photos of women in saunas at ski resorts. We hope this summer is cold and miserable so that the deniers will make an appearance there alongside women in bikinis from abroad."
Nigel Lawson was not available for comment, as he has retreated to Iceland for the season.