VentureThree recently rebranded Little Chef with the eponymous phrase; “Fresh from the Freezer and Disappointingly British it’ll be fun to leave!”
The Disappointingly British theme ran through everything, from the flavourless frozen foods to hidden hydrogenated fats - “If you can microwave it and sell it for £11.50 then it’s on the menu” said the stereotypical Alpha-northerner Ex-Little Chef boss Ian Pegler. “It’s what you idiots want. Hopeless food, delivered by disillusioned humans by the side of a miserable A-Road”
The magic formula was adopted after a survey revealed that the British Public have very fond attachments to some of the most pedestrian of experiences.
He went on to add “If you could round up the perfect day, the underwhelmed family would then head off on their way to begin a 2 week holiday at Butlins, ideally during a patch of seasonally inclement heavy showers and high winds”
Famous science-chef Heston Blumenthal failed turn the chain around a few years back but came head to head with Pegler on screen. “They didn’t want my advice but Happy Eater, Woolworths and Safeway were all very happy with it”
Blumenthal is currently working on some preposterous culinary creations to help bring punters back to HMV and Thomas Cook.
Big Briefcases, The receivers appointed to the Little Chef have blamed the closure on “an unfortunate mix of expanding a hopeless business concept onto an unwilling market during the worst financial crisis in living memory”