The world of Social Science was left reeling yesterday after shocking research results revealed by Loughborough University.
Professor Clive Van Ellis dean of Social Sciences at the University explained that a piece of research examining the competitive nature of male sibling relationships yielded unprecedented results which will change the field forever.
During a routine interview with a 40 year old male Mark Smith, the subject admitted that his younger brother Mike 32, was “actually much better than me at some things. He routinely beats me at table tennis for instance”. What was more shocking was the failure to add some form of excuse. Professor Clive went on “In such an admission it is universally acknowledged that the loss must be qualified with some reason such as a sore toe, hangover, or difficult lighting conditions.”
Mark went on with further acknowledgements of inferiority in areas including Fifa 2011, connect 4, and throwing rolled up bits of paper across the sitting room into a bin in 1992.
Also interviewed was the Smith’s elder brother Pete who explained that “they’re both poofs” before giving the postgraduate researcher a dead arm.