In a move that will see a significant re-distribution of wealth, the Conservative Party has announced a revolutionary plan to tax names that do not conform to orthodox forms.
The proposal will lead to the impoverishment of areas such as Essex, Norfolk and the Medway towns and benefit more affluent parts of Surrey, Notting Hill and Cheshire.
A flat-rate charge of £50 per forename will be levied at the time of registration for any name that does appear on a Government approved list; no deviations in spelling will be permitted. At the same time, a rebate of £50 per forename will be given for names that match with those of members of the Cabinet or Royal Family.
As a part of the proposal, in order to facilitate collection Registry Offices will be amalgamated with HMRC.
In today’s Jeremy Vine radio phone-in, Chantelle Jordan Smith from Barking complained of the inherent inequality of the plan, commenting that “Them nobs have more first names than us innit?. So their rebate is more than what I have to pay out”.