Radio Four admitted today to the shocking omission of Melvyn Bragg from any of its daily broadcasts for an entires day broadcasting in November last year. It was revealed that the 72 year ex presenter of the South Bank Show was not only not given a show for that day but didn't even get a mention on any other show either.
'November the 22nd will be a day that wont be easily forgotten' commented an embarrassed Station Producer 'as far as we are concerned this is our radio 9/11 and now it's out in the public eye we are all fearing the worse from the Melvyn loving bosses around here'.
Too ashamed to give us his name the Producer tried to steer the blame onto a general feeling of complacency amongst the staff by forgetting to include one of the nasely media guru's most indepth and interesting shows into the many elements of the art world. ' I suppose we are all guilty of the "I thought somebody else was going to it syndrome" and now we are all bitterley regretting not airing his latest book critic or yet another interview with Sir Peter Hall bemoaning the lack of funding for his new production of Othello for the Royal Shakespeare company'.
The station had been previously warned of it's conduct in forgetting to shoe horn in key arty farties after it was revealed that Brian Sewell had been neglectfully left out of 'Four goes to the Tate Modern' in 2007. ' We were given a right roasting for that ' continued the worried Producer ' two of my ex colleagues are still eating out a living devising cheesy radio commercials for Capital One after getting the boot thanks to Sewellgate as we came to know it'.
Just to make matters worse for Radio Four they have since been inundated with all of one letter of complaint from a Mr.Walter Pink from Worthing who was clearly appalled about the lack of Lord Bragg on the 22nd. 'After tuning into the station for the best part of that day I couldn't believe my ears that I had not heard from Melvyn or even had a mention of his name. I even listened to the whole days broadcast again on the BBC Iplayer just to check that I not missed him somewhere possibly between the Archers and the Shipping Forecast for instance'.
Mr. Pink's complaint was slightly tarnished when he threatened to punish the BBC for Braggs omission by informing them that he would stop paying his radio licence if they didn't get their act together.
As to Melvyn Bragg himself, he refused to comment due to a bad cold and told our reporter to f***k off when she told him that she couldn't tell the difference when he speaks normally so what was stopping him from talking now.
Since then it has been business as normal for Lord Bragg as he's hardly been off Radio Fours airways with his shows on biographical dramas, modern artist impressionism, script writing, ballett and talking with theatre actor lovies such as Kenneth Branagh.
'Yes! We've had him on every day before November the 22nd and every day after but that one day is going to haunt us for ever if the Beeb get nasty about it' said the nameless Producer ' but for fuck sake surely one day off listening to him chatting up Dame Judi Dench again isn't the end of the world'.