The world’s leading weapons manufacturers have signed a historic agreement to help victims of rocket propelled grenade attacks to recover faster from their injuries and enjoy the other therapeutic benefits of the substance.
“It has long been known that Aloe Vera has many healing properties, and tests show it can help with burns, cuts and the promotion of healthy skin” said Colonel Mike Richards from Serbian arms supplier Zastava “And we’re delighted to announce that the substance will be included in all our 30mm RPGs from the beginning of February as part of our ethical commitments”.
Richards admitted that some of the other benefits of the substance were of less relevance “Many of the digestive benefits in relation to promoting healthy bowel movements tend to be overtaken when someone fires an RPG at you, indeed we think that an RPG may be even more effective than conventional laxatives in removing any troublesome blockages.”
Many industry observers think that the inclusion of Aloe Vera in RPGs is just the tip of the corporate social responsibility iceberg.
“We are looking at all our CSR policies and for instance have, just this week, changed our disability policy to ensure we can make everone disabled irrespective of colour, sexual orientation, religion, and of course disability” confirmed Richards.