As the government begin discussing the rights and wrongs of assisted suicide for those with terminal illnesses, the Scottish parliament have released the latest update on a trial project which, if early reports are to be believed, should extend the life expectancy of cancer patients. The gentleman being tracked for the project is known to be Abdelbaset Al-magrahi. When the trial started, Mr Al-magrahi was given a mere 3 months to live, but through the experiment of sending him to Libya, he has managed to continue living for a further 2 years, and is still going strong.
Al-magrahi (not to be confused with Glaswegian plumber Al McGrahey) was, as luck would have it, born in Libya and was a close friend of former dictator and alive Colonel Gadaffi. So when offered the opportunity to be a 'guinea-pig' for the treatment, he jumped at the chance, before remembering he told people he couldn't jump and crawled back into bed.
'We were amazed at the speed that the treatment began working' Alex Salmond, Scottish first minister told us. ' He left Scotland in a wheelchair, and by the time he landed in Tripoli he was walking, smiling, and doing the okey-cokey. We are glad our methods are working and this just shows what we can achieve without the help of Westminster.'