In a new twist to the ongoing breast implant fiasco, the French firm that made them is facing fresh allegations that it supplied substandard prosthetic testicles to the NHS. Some 20,000 men worldwide who have had surgery to replace cancerous testicles may have poor quality false testes after a 55 year old Glamorgan man found that he had been given a cheap ping pong ball during surgery a year ago. Alarm bells were raised in Puerto Rico a year ago after 10 men were found to have their cancerous appendages replaced with anything from squash balls to novelty musical football keyrings and glow-in-the-dark mini Halloween pumpkins.
"You can see it was all about cutting corners. The NHS must have known something was wrong, but chose to ignore it", said Tom Jones who could tell something was wrong when he found that his new testicle floated in the bath. He advises anyone who has had a testicular op to check themselves. "If it bounces, floats, glows or plays the Match of the Day theme tune, go and see your doctor".