Richard Branson has executed a startling u-turn after he initially poured water on hopes that Virgin may have become a major sponsor for Newcastle United following its relocation to the north. The buyout of “Northern Rock” had sparked hopes that Virgin might fill the shoes abdicated by stricken bank by sponsoring the club’s kit and perhaps even the recently renamed “Sports Direct Arena.”
However, in November, Mr Branson said, “the idea of 55,000 geordies, 11 football players, and in fact the entire city of Newcastle, walking around with the word “Virgin” on their shirts is frankly laughable. I mean, with “ Northern Rock”, at least it was appropriate; Newcastle is in the north and I’ve met some fairly dense people.
“But most of the people in Newcastle wouldn’t remember what a hymen was if it was battered, deep fried and served with a bottle of brown ale. And the idea of “The Virgin Stadium” will very quickly become evidently ironic with what goes on most nights in the wooded shadows of the ground.”
Branson’s startling statements predictably attracted the ire of NUFC fans and the people of Newcastle as a whole. Current Lord Mayor, Brenda Hindmarsh, stated that, “Mr Branson has completely misrepresented the people of Newcastle. The majority of the city is too pissed too much of the time to even think about having sex.”
Agreeing to meet Branson in person at a press conference, a spokesperson from the Newcastle United Supporters Club had said the tycoon's comments were, "just another example of somebody from outside the city failing to understand the football club, its fans and the people of Newcastle as a whole.” To which Bransen, retorted “Really?! That’s absolutely delightful.”
However, the Evening Chronicle is today reporting that Newcastle United will indeed be wearing the logo of "Virgin Money" for this evening's game with Manchester United. In a statement, chhairman Derek Lambias explained that, "Geordies are well reknowned for their sense of humour. We'll soon see. Anyway, the relationship between virginity and money is always a close one, and in this current climate, the people of Newcastle as well as fans of Newcastle United, are used to being fucked for money."