A man has this morning confirmed that he is taking a member of the Irish travelling community to court regarding what he believes to be a case of ‘mis-sold lucky heather’.
Gareth Ramirez, a 53-year-old farmer from Dorset, claims to have purchased a small sprig of the plant for £5 early in 2011 and is basing his case on the fact that his year was “shite”.
The Traveller in question has been named as Mary O’Fiander, currently based in a field on the outskirts of Poole. Her age has not yet been disclosed, but experts estimate it to be from 60-65 based on the length of her eyebrows.
Ramirez has stated that he got the idea for taking the gypsy to court from television commercials for solicitors who claim to be able to retrieve money owed to those who were mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance. “What that woman told me was clearly false advertising. I bought the heather in good faith, but in 2011 my wife left me, my harvest was poor and my son got herpes, even though I had what I was told was essentially herbal luck assurance”.
O’Fiander has yet to fully present her case in court, claiming that the delays are being caused by a camera crew following her for the upcoming show, ‘My Big Fat Gypsy ASBO’. When asked by a reporter whether she felt that she was in the wrong, she stated that “there’s only so much that heather can do; this guy was screwed from the start”. Despite the claims against her, she continues to trawl the streets, pushing unsuspecting members of the public into buying her product.
Claims management regulators at the Ministry of Justice are showing concerns that the ground-breaking case could result in an influx of similar situations. An advisor noted that unlike PPI and Health & Safety claims, Travellers do not have a central fund to cover the cost of payouts should the outcome fall in the prosecutor’s favour. He then added that “if they win the case, claimants will have to understand that their only form of compensation will be in tarmac or Argos jewellery”.
Suspicions that a new type of PPI – Pikey Protection Insurance – will be developed remain unconfirmed.