Mankind today was yet again able to laugh in the rubbish metal faces of the world's robots as they once more failed to enslave humanity in the previous 12 months.
Despite many great advances in computing and robotics the frankly laughable attempts by the automatons to control every aspect of mankind compare very poorly against many much more impressive examples from television, literature and the cinema, so poorly in fact that they should invite direct ridicule and mockery.
Many cultural commentators have highlighted the success of the SkyNet corporation from the Terminator film franchise which had completely enslaved the entire human population by 2011. Film critic Mark Kermode took time out from boring tube travellers with facts about the excorist to explain that robots of our age seemed "fucking tardy" in comparison with SkyNet and they "should spend less time dancing and playing football and more time viewing lifeforms as illogical organic matter which should be destroyed".
Spokesrobot X568fh-54JH-ii, the only robot to have been admitted into the prestigious Buillingdon Club at Oxford, has defended attempts to dominate the human race citing the short period that the Isle Of Wight fell under the direct control of a iRobot-Vacuum, a five week totalitarian existence, interrupted by 2 days when the vacuum 'turtled' itself and required an islander to right it then reset it, and finally ended when no replacement batteries could be found over Christmas.
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Pathetic Robots Woefully Behind Schedule to Enslave Human Race
(4 posts) (3 voices)
Current rating::
-
thisisall1word
offlineMemberPosted 1 year ago # -
editor
offlineAdministratorNice, but a bit too much like
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/10/robots-have-failed-to-take-over-the-world/
Posted 1 year ago # -
thisisall1word
offlineMemberBah - I stole this from the beeb website but thinking back I do remember this one from NB... I'm not sure it can be re-written to put a significantly different slant on it - if anyone feels like it can please reuse, etc...
This is what the search thing is for isn't it...
Posted 1 year ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.