Chancellor George Osborne has announced a new ‘Gregorian Tax’, which will apply to anybody who wants to participate in 2012.
The tax has been attacked by opposition parties but the government has defended its stance, saying taxpayers have the option of paying less by using the alternative Julian Calendar.
Speculation has been rife in Westminster in recent months that the Treasury was planning to scrap 2012 altogether as part of cost-cutting measures.
However, in a dramatic turn of events, the Queen was said to have personally intervened to block the move, apparently concerned that the loss of 2012 would bring Prince Charles’ ascension to the throne much closer.
In a statement to MPs in parliament, Mr Osborne said: “It has become increasingly clear to the government that the year 2012 will be of great financial burden to Britain.
“As such, we’ve decided that the taxpayer should take their fare share of the burden and contribute towards its upkeep.
“But we are aware that things are not easy for much of Britain and are offering a lower tax rate for those who chose to use the Julian Calendar, therefore spreading payments over a longer period of time.”
The Gregorian Tax will amount to £500 per family that is fully or partially taking part in 2012.
Further details of the tax were later released by officials, including added charges.
Anybody taking part in a New Year’s party will be liable for a £100 levy and new year resolutions will be charged at £10 each. Although 30 per cent of this is reclaimable if you give up within three weeks.
And if you want to plan your holidays more than three months in advance, HMRC will tax you £80 as part of the ‘Yearly Planning’ sub tax.
Leader of the Opposition Ed Miliband said: “Look, what I believe and what I think is that, at the end of the day, the point of the matter is that the whole 2012 project is a literal waste of time and money.
“But instead of doing the decent thing and skipping to 2013, and possible 2014, the government has decided to squeeze as much money from voters as possible.”
Mr Miliband refused to answer any more questions and went in a huff when it was suggested his stance would see a year cut off the government’s current term of office.