UK Spirits has welcomed the announcement of the 2012 Paraylitic Games squad in advance of the gigantic drinking contest which will take place in London in 2012.
Fans of the 400 mls are said to be delighted that Joe Beckwith from Croyden will be at the helm of this important event. "Joe has proved in training that he can drink 400 mls of unbranded vodka in less than ten seconds followed by a whisky chaser, and is virtually guaranteed a gold medal in this prestigious event" said Brian Carter of the official binge dinking team "Unless that Russian bloke turns up".
Jumping events, usually the achilles heel of paralytic sports, are also expected to offer new medal hopes with the "Stan the can" from Glasgow who regularly jumps up to the fourth row at Costco to reach the discounted Tennants Super.
Track and field events hopefuls say they can build-on the example set by Paula Radcliffe and compete in the 10m urinating competition, and although it's unlikely to be snowing, would be able to write their own names with great clarity should the weather turn nasty.
Although golf does not become an Olympic sport until 2016, the Paralytic games features it as a test event. Darren Clarke hopes to make amends for his second place in the 2011 BBC Sports Personality of the Year contest.