Edward Farnham, ratings manager of the Standard and Poor ratings agency, today downgraded the rating of his wife from AAA to AA+.
He blamed the Christmas festivities for building up large structural debt around the waistline, a debt would take many months to be worked off. Furthermore, the lack of investment in wax maintenance had made working in the southern regions much less appealing, so impacting productivity.
In the announcement, he stated that "Jessica Farnham has not yet been downgraded to junk status, yet harsh measures will need to be taken to retain or improve her ratings"
Jessia Farnham, wife of Edward Farnham, rejected the downgrading. "All of his fellow male staff gave me an AAA rating at the Christmas party. They supported my proposals for large-scale infrastructure investment in the breast area, which will expand my global appeal and exports. They also expressed significant interests in the bond options that will shortly become available".
Edward Farnham's colleagues agreed with this statement "Jessica has much to offer compared to her peers; investing in her exposes less risk than with some lower-rated spouses"