The World Health Organisation has expressed its concern over the state of Father Christmas’ health, warning children not to leave seasonal snacks such as mince pies or festive alcoholic drinks out for him when he visits them this Christmas Eve.
‘We are worried that the strain may prove to be too much for Santa this year,’ said a WHO Doctor. ‘‘We have monitored his appearance over a century of Christmas greetings cards from when he appeared to be a relatively slender individual, to the overweight gentleman currently depicted,’ said a WHO Doctor. ‘It is an understatement say that this man’s longevity is in severe doubt.’
‘If he was visiting my surgery for a check-up I would be advising him to retire immediately,’ continued the Doctor. ‘Apart from his severe obesity, we’re becoming concerned about his constantly rosy cheeks which suggest underlying health issues such as hypertension and perhaps alcohol problems. We also have to question his mental stability; he remains irrationally jolly despite the state of the world’s economy. Of course we appreciate that Saint Nicholas is of Greek origin, and therefore has very little grasp of economics, but even his fellow countrymen have stopped parading around booming ‘Ho,ho,ho!’
Health experts are of the view that Father Christmas may be a very poor role model for the world’s children and have suggested children should be supplying snacks such as sunflower seeds and carrot batons which would have some nutritious benefit as he makes his epic journey.
The WHO Doctor felt this was the only hope to save Christmas for millions of children.‘To be honest, given the man’s size, if he consumes any more festive food and drinks any more Yuletide cheer as he does his rounds, not only will he almost certainly have a seizure but it will be a real miracle if his sleigh gets off the ground.’