The Young North Korean ‘minister for the preservation of the ‘Dear Leader’s’ body’ has been left red-faced today following a misunderstanding of Kim Jong-Il’s final requests. The mistake has seen him try to preserve the body of the dictator through the process of ‘lipbalming’.
Embalming is the process all great dictators like to use to have themselves preserved for eternity. It involves flushing a formaldehyde solution through the body, and using special solutions on the skin. However this is the first case of the decaying process being stopped using the ’Vaseline Lip Therapy’ method.
’I thought it a bit strange but it is forbidden to question the wishes of the Dear Leader’ Minister Dun-Wong told us. ‘So I contacted Vaseline and ordered 3000 tins of their Aloe Vera variety to spread over his corpse. Turns out we saved a fortune on shipping costs, as it’s all made in China.’
Despite North Koreans not being known for their sense of humour, the newsreader could not control her hysterical laughter as she announced the news. ‘It seems that after a few hard days of emotion, this was the kind of ‘release’ the public needed’ the minister for non-communication tried not to tell us. ‘Even ‘the great successor’ chuckled when we told him. It seems that, as in life, in death he is one slippery character’