The Conservative Council of Buckingham has caused uproar by making a formal request to the Russian Government to direct its runaway Phobos satellite - filled with toxic material, and due to make 'earthfall' some time in January - to the run-down Greenfields council estate on the edge of town.
Council Leader Pamela Fforbes said, explaining the controversial move :
"It makes a lot of sense. The whole estate is run-down, and to be honest, we'd be doing the town a favour by getting rid of all those chavs. The place is a hotbed of drugs and crime, there are dogs copulating in the middle of the street, and the residents don't even keep their gardens looking nice."
The Russian president, Vladimir Putin, confirmed that an official request had been made.
"Yes, they have asked, but I think it's a bit of a non-starter. As we speak, our own tecchie guys are trying to point the damn thing at Chechnya. This is off-the-record, isn't it?"
Council Leader Pamela Fforbes defended the request, saying :
"I'm not in the least ashamed. It makes perfect sense. As well as getting rid of all the chavs, it would save us all the demolition costs. People would come from miles around to see the satellite crash, providing business opportunities for local hot-dog salesmen and so forth.
Local businessman Duncan Fforbes has exciting re-development plans for the area, and while we're waiting for me - er, I mean, the council - to approve the planning permission, the site could be used temporarily for fox-hunting and grouse shooting."
Our reporter was sent to the local council estate to ask residents what they thought of the plan.
Unfortunately, he was told to "**** off out of here" by one council tenant and has now been hospitalised after being bitten by his pet Staffordshire Bull terrier.
"I mustn't grumble, really" our reporter said. "Either side of me in the ward are a couple of young carol singers who were also savaged by the dog.
We while away the time singing 'God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen'."
Tory Council Asks Russia To Crash Rogue Satellite Onto Its Council Estate
(1 post) (1 voice)
The Conservative Council of Buckingham has caused uproar by making a formal request to the Russian Government to direct its runaway Phobos satellite - filled with toxic material, and due to make 'earthfall' some time in January - to the run-down Greenfields council estate on the edge of town.Posted 4 years ago #
You must log in to post.