A recently discovered contract dated around the end of the US War of Independence shows that the US's lease on the usage of the English language will come to an end in 2012.
The contract, signed by King George III and witnessed by Generals Cornwallis and Washigton, has been verified by British and American historians and recognised by lawyers as valid and binding. The contract has far ranging consequences for the future of all spoken and written communication in the US.
Prime Minister Cameron is said to be 'rubbing his hands with glee' with a 'pay to say' deal involving the US paying for words used in Government and Mass Media communications. This would allow the general populace to carry on regardless but the Entertainment industry is said to be very nervous. In particular they are currently looking into the number of words they actually use in films, which they claim to be mostly monosyllabic or repetitive and Music lyrics which they claim is no longer really English, citing Rap as an example. President Obama has yet to formally comment on the contract but has already formed a task force to begin working on a potential replacement for English, the favourite short term solutions being 'Pig Latin', 'Gangsta', 'Country and Western' or 'Jive'.
Canada and the UK have no such agreement and the UK authorities are said to be ready to waive any claim as they would rather not have any more people speaking French if at all possible. Germany officials however are to discover just how much of English is derived from it's language stem as, 'it would really irritate the English'.