Foreign Secretary William Hague has today spoken of his anger that North Korean leader Kim Jong Il couldn’t have died a couple of days sooner, prior to the UK sending him a Christmas card.
‘It’s damned inconsiderate’ ranted Hague. ‘We got him a lovely card off Moonpig.com with his name on the front and everything which cost £2.50. And have you any idea how much postage is to North Korea?! We’re almost in a recession here for goodness sake. Couldn’t he have popped his clogs before I took the cards to the post-office last Friday?’
Mr Hague did calm down enough to add that savings had been made from the Christmas card budget this year. ‘We didn’t have to send old Gadhafi one this year of course, so the millions we spent on air-strikes saved us a few quid there, and we’ve only sent Sarkozy a cheapy one from Poundland.’
He also said that this would be the last time the UK sent a card to President Ahmadinejad of Iran. ‘Every year we send him one with a lovely circular inside telling him how busy we’ve been sorting out the Middle East’s problems, but we never get one back. He claims he sends one every year but it gets blown up by bomb disposal at the airport, but we all know people who use that as an excuse don’t we’.