Family life is in turmoil in countless homes across the country as disputes erupt over when to make a start on the bounteous snacks stockpiled for Christmas, according to the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB). They report that drums of cheese footballs, declared off-limits when they were bought back in October ‘because they always run out of them in Morrisons’, are the primary cause of the clashes although boxes of chocolate biscuits and large tins of confectionery have also provoked heated arguments.
A CAB spokesman called for clear guidance to be issued on when the Christmas gluttony can officially begin. “We believe that the British public need to know when they can tuck in without fear of being told they can’t because it’s not Christmas yet. Whether it’s the day of the ceremonial switch-on of the town’s Christmas lights or the arrival of the first Easter Eggs in the shops for example, it should be defined.”
However, the general public are not convinced. Despite all the tempting provisions amassed for Christmas calling out ‘Eat Me’, it appears that the last thing people want is a date.
(Yes, you did spot the voice of recent experience ...)