Roy Wood, lead singer of the 1970s glam rock band Wizzard, has apologised for his role in ensuring that is now Christmas every day. Today, 38 years to the week since Wizzard hit Number Two in the charts with 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day', just behind Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody', market observers agree that Wood's remarkable vision has finally come true.
'In my defence, I wrote it on tour in a B&B in South Shields on a wet July afternoon,' said the hirsute Midlander, who now manages an organic fruit farm in Shropshire that he bought with the royalties from the song. 'I got homesick and started thinking 'Wouldn't it be nice if it was Christmas every day, you know when the kids start singing and the band begins to play?' How was I to know what would happen next?'
With Christmas tat now generally reaching the shops in September and the unsold pile staying there on 3-for-2 offers until April, followed by venues planning their marketing campaigns for office Christmas parties in May, analysts agree that it really is Christmas every bastard day. Given that many country houses are now already advertising their Easter Egg hunts, it is also coming close to being Easter every frigging day as well.
Wood added that he is also perfectly well aware the snowman doesn't actually 'bring his snow' as such. 'I was off my big hairy moobs on coke when I wrote that bit. I might be from Birmingham but I'm not THAT thick,' he told a female reporter. 'Mind you, I wouldn't mind your rosy cheeks lighting my merry way, if you get my drift, eh, eh? Oh sorry, love, for one moment there I was back in the '70s...'