After announcing a £448m package of help to turn around Britain’s problem families, No.10 has confirmed that the first family to benefit from the intervention of trained professionals would be the coalition government.
‘Troubled families often experience a combination of problems: internal conflict, economic difficulties and a lack of support,’ said the government’s family champion, Emma Harrison. ‘The political family of the coalition ticks all these boxes, plus we’ve had persistent reports of antisocial behaviour from their neighbours in Europe. Troubled families can end up costing the taxpayer dear, so it’s important we step in now.’
A troubleshooter has now been sent in to develop a plan for tackling the coalition’s problems with issues faced by so many other families, such as unemployment and poor educational attainment.
‘It’s difficult to know where to start, though,’ admitted the troubleshooter. ‘Clegg says one thing and then does another, and when I got them sat round the table to negotiate a solution, David just exercised his veto and walked out.’