British PM David Cameron today marked the 100th anniversary of the defeat of Captain Robert Scott in his quest to reach the South Pole, after being beaten by the Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen.
Speaking at the South Pole after the earlier departure of the triumphant Norwegian PM, Mr Cameron said he had previously decided to commemorate Scott's defeat by a similar ill-planned and ultimately doomed gesture of futility that would result in isolation and a slow, lingering death unnoticed by the rest of the world.
"There was a break during the negotiations at the EU Summit last week", he said, "and I nipped out to the balcony for a quick cigar." "Standing there alone while all the other leaders met with their diplomats and advisors, it suddenly dawned on me that here was a chance to make a statement about British values." He continued as his eyes watered with emotion, "So after everyone else was seated and waiting for me, I sauntered back in and played the British Veto". "You should have seen their faces, especially my own diplomats and advisors."
Mr Cameron has long admired Captain Scott and read all his diaries covering his battle against adversity. He is understood to be particularly moved by the diary entry where faced with dire shortages, and in order to survive, he was forced to eat his favourite husky, Clegg.
