Judges in the 2011 rebellion season have given the strongest indication yet that Libya looks likely to take the top spot on the revolution podium. ‘The competition has been really stiff this year,’ enthused Simon Coward from FURC, the Federation of Uprisings, Rebellions and Counter-revolutions, ‘and the standard has been extremely high with more military dictators being ousted by good-natured rebels than ever before. Colonel Gaddafi was the latest to have shown the world he had that elusive ‘Ex’ factor’.
Despite TV coverage giving the impression of thousands out on the streets, the truth behind the Libyan uprising was a bunch of a dozen semi-professional rebels, dressed in their familiar bandanas and playing Brothers In Arms on their iPods. ‘We came under ferocious enemy fire many a time,’ said Al Graffiti, leader of the ‘Dirty Dozen’, ‘but the enemy were hopeless at aiming. How many times they blew up our car after we got out, I lost count. Still, some of the footage of us hitting the ground dramatically with the car exploding behind us is top notch.’
In reaching their decision, the judges said they ruled out those countries where the incumbent dictator left without a fight; and ‘one or two others where the job wasn’t finished in time.’ The initial result was a disappointing five in favour and five against the Libyans but Coward swung it with his casting vote. ‘The award ceremony will take place in Berlin on Christmas Day,’ he added, ‘if that’s alright.’ Unfortunately, before he finished announcing his decision, one of the other judges sneaked up behind him and stabbed him in the back.