Education Secretary Michael Gove today reported on the department’s radical new initiatives to prevent the next generation of debt-ridden youngsters by introducing lessons on fiscal responsibility in schools. “Ironically, the government didn’t have lessons like this when we were young which is why we’re in such a mess now,” stated Mr Gove at his press conference this morning. “To make up for this we have to get this programme sponsored by an outside source, and successful financial advisors Wonga.com were on hand straight away”.
Wonga.com has often been praised for its excellent service, and the ‘sliding bar’ quote system has ensured that many people have avoided getting into further debt within an hour of creating an account. Despite being run by a team of elderly rubber puppets, Wonga have ensured that they are the best company for the job as they have worked hard on their ability to communicate with young people.
Fred Bassett, a 74 year old latex-based DJ, has been learning new rap techniques to engage with his students and showing his ‘moves’ on their latest advert. “Youths today don’t understand just how important it is to get just a bit more money out to cover their visits to the pub,” he added. “They don’t realise that 4996% interest is nothing really, and that it’s so easy to pay it back over a couple of years with absolutely no repercussions.”
George Osborne has shown similar levels of enthusiasm for the program, and has already hinted that a similar scheme could be provided to employees of the London Stock Exchange. “Wonga.com has already drawn up a colourful little plan for us – the British economy will be back on its feet in no time.”