Evil baddies hell bent on destroying any of Britain's best new comedians are reportedly 'bang on target' with their assassination of Ricky Gervais. The Reading comic is reportedly on course for a fully fledged death by overkill, by the end of his current disappointing series.
'You'll know when the henchmen have done their deadly work,' said one TV analyst. 'When you switch on your TV, on a Friday night, and your gut reaction is oh-god-not-a-fucking-gain, then you'll know they've done their deadly work.'
Gervais is just the latest promising comic to be snuffed out by an evil group calling themselves The Producers. Some liken their modus operandi to that of an sunday footballer, hungrily sucking on the half time orange of British comedy. They quickly drain all the juice out of a fresh comic, then throw the useless husk towards the spectators on the sideline.
Others liken the talent-producer relationship to that of a hornets nest and an ant eater. The producer slowly and ruthlessly hoovers out every insect of creativity, and then moves remorselessy off in search of the next live meal.