The Channel Four programme 'Countdown' is mourning the death of a second long-term presenter after 'Dictionary Corner' mainstay Susie Dent exploded during filming. Producers of the popular afternoon show have cited the unregulated use of hyperbole and metaphor during the election campaign as the primary cause. 'Susie's job was not only to check the spelling of the words offered up by the contestants, but to explain their meaning and context,' said the programmes devastated and rather damp executive producer. 'Susie had a real passion for the English Language and took great pleasure in promoting the beauty and artistry of its nuances. Listening to all the ridiculous language used during the election, especially regarding the debates, simply proved too great a strain'.
It is understood that Miss Dent had begun to feel unwell shortly after the first Prime Ministerial debate took place, and it is believed that the catalyst was the media's frequent use of words such as 'exhilarating', 'searing' and 'tense' immediately afterwards. Her poor health was compounded by the media's constant use of nonsensical turns of phrase such as 'we simply haven't seen anything like this before, not since the 1940s' and 'The political landscape has been completely revolutionised and quite possibly will never be the same again'.
The final straw followed the third debate when Miss Dent allegedly read Nick Robinson's account of the proceedings. The BBC's normally restrained political correspondent portrayed the candidates as boxers 'sparring enthusiatically', trading 'sharp exchanges' and at one point, talked of a 'rare Cameron-Brown pincer movement'. Miss Dent is alleged to have appeared on set shortly after, visibly enraged, before sponaneously exploding as the countdown in the first letters game concluded.
The incident is the second expert death in the last week, after a leading physiologist at Newcastle University melted whilst trying to explain how Gordon Brown's jaw remains attached to his skull, and why Nick Clegg's head is so small in comparison to the rest of his body.
