As the cost of retirement homes goes up and the standard of care goes down, well known dog shelter charity, the PDSA, have set up a separate sister charity for the sheltering of pensioners.
' We have found OAPs down country lanes, in other people's sheds, and even one who had been put in a sack with bricks, and thrown in the canal' John Hert, head of pensioner welfare at the oaPDSA told us. 'By giving them a large cage, food three times a day, and a walk at lunchtime, we are providing a standard of living way above that provided in a home.'
Doug Williams was abandoned by his family when the proceeds from his house sale ran dry. 'They took me to a park and told me they would be back in a minute. After three weeks I realised the weren't coming back. Doug continued, 'I teamed up with another pensioner called Harold, and we ate scraps and slept under bridges together. Unfortunately Harold got injured on a plastic beer can holder and was 'put to sleep' when we got here.'
'When we take in abandoned pensioners like Doug, we give them a bath and a haircut and as long as they are healthy, we will provide shelter for life' a spokesman told us. 'As we say at the oaPDSA, we never put a good Doug down'