Some of the more progressive primary schools are gearing up for a modern take on the standard end of term nativity play, taking inspiration from modern technology. In the age of online census surveys and positive incentives for online tax collection, the standard biblical tale of Mary, Joseph, and an unsafe home / manger birth has been upgraded to more modern standards.
Neil Thomas, a primary school headteacher, explained the concept of Nativity 2.0, ‘Mary and Joseph will be shown at home sitting on two laptops. They will be trying to register with the Inland Revenue for their online tax returns. We are looking forward to introducing the new Moira Stewart character into the play.’
‘There will be some obvious hazards on the journey that they both take to full registration. Both Mary and Joseph will surf the net and update their facebook accounts with various banalities. They will find that the ‘no room at the inn’ metaphor is actually a reference to high useage on their BT broadband, leading to frustration and a fear that they will miss the registration deadline. The three wise men and the star that they follow is now interpreted as subjects that trend on twitter. Thus, upon the arrival (by email) of the Biblical Magi, subjects such as #virginbirth, #hotpregnanttaxpayers, #iamthechosenone, and #dailystarphonehackscandalscum will already have featured in the play.’
‘We have considered how to represent Joseph being turned away from the various accommodation he was seeking. This will now be represented by a real time web search for the nearest available Travelodge. We will make every effort for Joseph to avoid searching for ‘Virgin pregnant wife’ on google.
‘We are particularly proud of our updated concept of the manger. Having carefully considered modern alternatives to an inadequate, under resourced facility with no competent medical staff to hand, we have set the birth scene in a modern, post coalition government NHS maternity ward.’