Millions of seemingly straight men have all month enjoyed the pose of raising money for a charitable cause as the perfect alibi for testing out spectacularly queer moustaches.
Bear-curious twenty somethings have used the cover of Movember to parade around in clubs and bars across the planet sporting lip hair that would generally not be out of kilter with the cafes of Old Compton Street & Soho.
“I just loved watching Tom Selleck as a kid”, explained Derek (who raised over $27 for Prostate Cancer research this year), “so naturally I was drawn to 'the 'Magnum'”, as he slowly stroked an upper lip bristling with a dense black pelt.
“It's certainly made me feel more, well .. manly. And it's been a real conversation piece with some of the other guys at work who have never bothered to talk to me before”.
Other popular 'Vember Mos to grace the sidewalks this season include the jaunty 'Chopper', a chinless goatee named after the chirpy Australian murderer, and the 'Alley F', a straight across-the-face number titled after the charming President of Azerbaijan, Ilham Aliyev.
It seems men are enjoying getting to grips with some facial hair, after suffering decades of boyish smoothness just to please their womenfolk.
“Movember has been fun”, enthused a ruddy-cheeked Clive, marketing manager from Basingstoke, “and more people seem to get the ironic side of it now.”
“It's such a great way to meet new people and of course", he emphasised, "raise money for a worthy cause!”
“I think I'll keep the moustache on after Movember now. To be honest I just can't wait to help raise a few quid by dressing up as a biker in leather cowboy chaps as part of my new costume during Gaypril next year!”
