SyCo, the production company behind The X-Factor, have announced changes in the voting system in an attempt to revitalise this year's show. After much criticism, and a drop in ratings, voting will now happen in a style that has been successfully adopted by the Egyptians.
' The idea came to me when I accidentally watched the news before last saturday's show. It seems the Egyptians have devised a form of voting that sees a mass of people gathering in one place depending on their view' Crap music expert, and head of SyCo Simon Cowell told us. ' There have been gatherings to support democracy, one to support the current military regime, and one to support knocking down the pyramids to make way for a a number of 1 and 2 bedroom apartments. Why not have people stand in Trafalger Square to vote for Misha B, in Leicester Square to vote for Little Mix, and in Parliament Square to vote for putting Louis Walsh down.'
When asked how he would make money from the Cairo style democracy, he told us that to exercise your democratic right to vote, you will be charged £5 to enter the appropriate voting rally.
To keep a level of authenticity to the original protests, the government have announced they will be providing military assistance and will fire machine guns at the crowds. When asked if this was to help keep the peace, they replied ' no, think of it as a form of natural selection'