Iran is facing growing international condemnation after the international wind energy watchdog (IWEA) revealed the country is on course to have a fully operational wind turbine by the end of 2012. The IEWA report concluded there was evidence that Iran had embarked on a credible programme of wind technology and that the country had repeatedly sought to acquire the raw materials for production including solenoids, rivets and large rotary blades.
The hard-line regime, however, insists its wind energy programme is purely for civilian purposes and is essential if it is to meet its target of twenty percent of energy production from renewables by the end of 2030. The controversial programme has reignited the fears of conservationists across the region that Iran is hell-bent on creating a series of highly unattractive wind farms that would have a detrimental effect on the entirely barren featureless landscape and the region as a whole.
Experts believe the Iranian turbine could produce in excess if 80KWh, a fraction of the energy unleashed at Hiroshima, depending on exactly how windy it is. And sources claim it could be switched on in less than forty five minutes. Meanwhile, Iran’s neighbours have complained that its presence could seriously destabilise the region or at least the bit of ground that it stands on.
The news has sparked growing fears of a green energy ‘arms race‘ across the Middle East with Israel already threatening to retaliate with a pre-emptive programme of gigantic solar panels targeted directly at Iran. The plan is to catch the sunlight by wiggling these about from side to side in a really annoying fashion. Yet many analysts believe it will make little difference and that the prospect of a world in which an Islamic turbine operates at two hundred revolutions per minute is now a foregone conclusion.
Ali Al Chakrabati , a spokesman for the regime last night hit back at critics claiming,
‘The forty five minute claim is a nonsense propagated by pig-dog Zionists and their cronies in the White House. It takes at least that long to power the generator up. Besides – I didn’t hear anyone complain when Israel erected that great big mobile phone mast right next to the Gaza Strip.’ He added, ‘The people’s wind turbine will significantly reduce our carbon emissions and there’s every chance that this is one success that could go absolutely nuclear.’
‘Shit. What am I saying?’