Leaked minutes from a high-level meeting of European government leaders in Belgium has proved an embarrassing reminder to Europeans that their politicians do not necessarily all sing from the same songsheet.
With the working title ““It’s the time for making your mind up”, the meeting, which took place in the historic Belgian village of Waterloo, has been described as an urgent effort to pool Europe’s industrial and infrastructure specialists.
When pressed for detail of the secretive meeting, in which US specialists in the areas of Security, Agriculture, Disaster Management, Transport, were chosen ahead of European generalists, British Home Office spokesperson, Morris Dancing, countered a chorus of criticisms that these people were “simply a bunch of technocrats”.
“These people are internationally recognised highly-skilled subject-matter experts”, he explained, “with a wealth of experience in Christian organisations and global logistics.”
When he refused to name the specific organisations involved, cameras were turned off, and Mr Dancing mimed the letters Y, M, C and A, adding that “… in the navy, you can sail the seven seas.”
“While the cowboy has some sound perspectives on common market policy development, they are not simply a bunch of technocrats”, he repeated. “Especially not the biker”, he added somewhat wistfully.
While the German Chancellor Angela Merkel opposed the plan, insisted on a more “techno”-sounding plan, she admitted that tighter immigration policies made it increasingly difficult to find suitable Indians in a modern Europe.
The impossibility of finding a homegrown European solution became clear early on, when Swiss bankers auditing a three hour audio-visual history of the Euro Vision project walked out en masse, insisting that they also had rights under the Geneva Convention.
Flamenco separatists also oppose the plan.
A spokesman, who would only be identified as ‘Fernando’ was visibly shaken by developments, and insisted that while he had listened closely to the rescue plan, he had categorically heard no drums.