Danielle Morgan was a bright outgoing young student who dreamt of one day graduating and beginning a career in “any field I possibly can, perhaps HR or something”. Unfortunately this dream was tragically cut short yesterday as she battled with a series of events which finally led her to be inextricably entangled in a clothes horse.
“I couldn’t believe it at first”, said Morgan, “I thought, I’m clevererer than a clothes thingy”. However, as much as the undergraduate tried, she was unable to free herself from the grips of the seemingly innocuous household device.
David Cameron has sent a message of hope to Miss Morgan, while other leaders around the world have also spoken of the ‘warmth’ they feel for the victims of the clothes horse trapping incident and the bravery of the emergency services.
In an emergency meeting at Simon Cowell’s levitating offshore mansion; Bono, The Saturdays, Ainsley Harriott, Dappy and Mike Tyson have all pledged to record a charity single and Noel Edmonds has cancelled filming of Deal Or No Deal to make a guest appearance at the top of the BT Tower to speak of the courage of Danielle Morgan, while a specialist team from the Royal Engineers Regiment is making its way to Derby, where they hope a specially constructed robotic arm could feed Danielle a sandwich or two while she remains trapped within the metal structure.
“I realise I’ve made an utter bell-end of myself, but I’m still hoping I may be able to get myself a career in something like banking” said Morgan “I hear that people like me are now accepted in society and are given a fair chance”. Since 2003 it’s been illegal to discriminate against persons trapped in household objects.
In 2006 Westminster Council were taken to court and fined for not offering a senior management position to Mary Jingo of Hull, who has been trapped inside a shopping basket since she was 11. “I knew that I was being discriminationized because as soon as I turned up for the interview they just began staring at the basket” She was later awarded £2.5 Million in compensation.