The government today was forced to deny its policy of raising retirement ages had reached its limit after a confused 90 year old man was allowed to rejoin the Royal Navy.
The pensioner, a Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg had served with the Royal Navy during the Second World war. It had been reported that like many gentlemen of that age, he had spent more and more time reminiscing about the most exciting time in his life, a time when he was known to his comrades at arms as simply Phil the Greek.
Mr. Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg, friends said, had been more disorientated recently. Someone who met him last week, Wen Jiabao, a secretary of Chinese nationality, interviewed in Margate, where Mr. Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg had recently visited stated "He appeared lost, wandering round with his hands tucked in the back of his trousers, he told me I was a slitty eyed midget and didn't appear to understand why I took offence, to be honest he reminded me a bit of that Ricky Gervais"
Mr. Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg appears to have wandered into the headquarters of the Royal Navy, Admiralty House, in his old uniform and demanded to be allowed to rejoin the service, the HR managers, scared of both an equalities lawsuit from the applicant and a tart email from a government special advisor reminding them the government policy was to work people to death, and fearing they would never get this foul mouthed old gent in a musty smelling uniform out of their office in time for elevenses, offered him the only open position they had in this period of redundancies, that of Lord High Admiral of the Navy.
When asked why he had done it, Mr. Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg replied “I just wanted to get away from the wife for a bit”