Kim Kardashian's curvy derrière appears to be the latest scapegoat for the economic crisis, as government officials have revealed that every meeting they have about the economy just turns into an animated chat about her famous behind.
“She dominates the news to the extent it's impossible to get any work done." Said one government official. "If you're given a spreadsheet of unemployment figures, and it's sitting next to an article in the Daily Mail about how Kim Kardashian bent over to pick something up off the pavement, what do you think they're going to look at? Sure, they're elected, accountable officials making some of the most important decisions on earth, but they're still human for God's sake.”
Further reports have suggested that David Cameron likes to initiate new members of the coalition by making them dress up as Kim, whilst he pretends to be Reggie Bush, and then walks around number 10 showing off his 'girlfriend'.
“He walks around with his trousers down low being all 'bad ass' and we all have to call him 'Reggie' or 'dawg'.” Said one junior minister. “He even got the shoe polish out and blacked up once, but then we sat him down and quietly told him that was too far. Nick Glegg thinks Kloe is the best. He's such a dick.”