A wave of shock has swept the psychic world as esteemed medium Russel Grant failed to predict the slow erosion of his own pitiful career.
Psychic Grant has made a living from issuing vague statements about people's future, for as little as £1.53 per minute, often with impressive results.
"Christ he's good." Said one impressed client. "I went to visit him after the recession hit my business pretty hard, and for only £1000 he told me, and I quote, 'I may experience financial difficulty in the future'. Bang, the next thing you know my house was repossessed, and I was facing bankruptcy. And people still say this is some sort of trick.”
Grant has even predicted the death of princess Diana, although he, somewhat unhelpfully, only made the prediction after she'd died.
"Princess Diana was a close personal friend of mine, and I just knew she was going to die in a car crash in Paris, but I just never got round to telling her. I had a very accurate vision of her dying in the tunnel, and I was going to give her a ring, but I wanted to have a bath first, and after a long hot soak it just slipped my mind. When I heard that she'd died, I thought 'that's annoying, I probably should have told her my prediction', but hey, you live and learn."
The almost flawless life time record of Grant's uncannily accurate predictions, are all the more surprising when you consider that he never saw his own sad fate of desperately trying to endear himself to the public whilst dragging his portly frame around the studios of strictly come dancing.