(Could someone with some wit and talent take this and turn it into something funny?)
Local Councils To Stockpile Curry Powder To Address Winter Roads Problems.
(5 posts) (3 voices)
What are those mega mega hot chillis the Indian (?) govt are developing for military use?
 duh! salt ... I blame my OD on hayfever meds, plus brain switched off for duration of election campaign.
Cracking idea Jeni! I certainly DON'T believe I have wit or talent, or that this post is funny, but your idea did make a little spark in my tiny brain...
Local councils to stockpile curry powder
In anticipation of harsh frosts this winter, one local council has outlawed shipments of curry powder across county borders following reports that a typical curry contains 'enough salt to melt the Ward Hunt ice shelf'.
North Devon District Council has released a statement, saying that they believe curry powder is a safe alternative to salt. 'Our tests show that curry powder can be used in a much lower density than salt,' their statement says, 'and although we have to modify our gritter trucks to accomodate an array of fine sieves on the back instead of coarse spreaders, we believe this approach will be much more cost effective and less harmful than our current policy.'
Steve James, manager of the country's most productive curry mine located near Exmoor, said, 'Our local councillors have rushed through a roadways bylaw, meaning we now have to direct all of our output to their curry storage depot in Barnstaple.'
Birmingham's 'Balti Triangle' is said to be devastated at the news, with many curry houses shuttering their premises already, 'and don't get me started on the effect this will have on the Patak's factory in Lancashire,' lamented Mr James.
The mine produces upto two truckloads of concentrated curry powder each week, and Devon councillors are convinced that the move will mean they will remove reliance on salt imports from other parts of the country.
'Tests have shown that a relatively small dose of high-strength curry powder will prevent water freezing down to temperatures as low as -24°C,' said Highways Department officer Mike Dixon. 'We believe that, quite apart from the massive salt content, the firey heat from the the chilli has a pronounced effect.'
Locals in Devon have voiced their concern at the proposed road use of the caustic powder. 'What in heavens name will this do for potholes?' asked concerned Ilfracombe resident Ava Mitchell, 'They're bad enough as it is, without turning them into molten pools of lava.'
Asthmatic Helen Watkins of Bideford is considering legal action. 'I'm terribly worried about the effect that a light dusting of curry powder will have on my lungs for starters,' she said, 'and I'm really very worried indeed for my kids. They love to eat mouthfuls of snow, but how on earth will they avoid the yellow stuff when it's all stained bright orange?'
Be great for the lib dems.
But pitty the poor dog snuffing around a lamppost ...
Get it posted, and I'll give you some Star(s)of India.
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