The elaborate stage performances and headline-grabbing costumes of Lady Gaga could well be consigned to the annals of history following the discovery of her antics by Lord Gaga, 4th Marquis of Winchester.
Lord Gaga expressed ‘monumental displeasure’ at what he called the “shame brought upon his family’s good name by the cavorting of his weak-minded wife”.
Lady Gaga’s public displays of semi-nudity and raucous behaviour have been the staple diet of tabloid reporters such as Phil Space for the best part of the last three years. When asked how her showiness had gone completely unnoticed, Lord Gaga claimed he’d never heard of the “Metro” and wouldn’t sully his hands with any of the ‘light’ newspapers.
“The newspapers available at my club are the Financial Times and Lloyds List and neither of these titles waste valuable news space with articles about the daily doings of members of the public that the world calls celebrated persons.”
Lady Gaga has not been seen since Lord Gaga dragged her off stage by her ear and horsewhipping her dancers who came to her aid. Lord Gaga’s furious berating preceded Lady Gaga’s insertion into a waiting carriage.
It is thought that the singer has been taken to Lord Gaga’s family sanatorium where it’s likely she will undergo experimental treatment to reduce what Lord Gaga called her “attention mania”. Her doctors and orderlies will keep a round-the-clock vigil on her progress, issuing her with regular electric shock therapy should she show signs of relapse. It’s likely that university scholars and local practitioners will pay visits to carry out tests of their own. Trepanning has not been ruled out.
In a statement issued by his fellow club member and long term friend, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Lord Gaga’s has said how the family would respect the privacy they deserve at this difficult time, and that any trespassing members of the press would be shot by the groundsman.
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Lord Gaga Calls Time on 'Uncontrollable" Wife
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