A coalition of Taliban Leaders announced today their opposition to the "barbaric and inhuman" regime of "Daily Mail Law" and said they would be campaigning against its adoption in parts of Afghanistan.
One leader said "while we welcome european visitors, we are concerned that they bring 'Daily Mail Law'" with them. This barbaric system allows for shoplifters, car thieves, suspected murderers or anyone accused of being a 'paedo' to be publicly denounced then hung without any kind of judicial oversight"
"Admittedly, we do stone people to death for crimes -but we do at least have a council of elders review the case first. The supporters of the 'Daily Mail Law' don't believe in such fair trials. Take the UK riots for example: people were put in prison for years just for proposing stealing something. We would only cut the hands off people caught stealing, not those proposing to do it on facebook."
The spokesman concluded "This legal system may have worked in the European Dark Ages, when burning people for witchcraft was common -but it is time to move on".
When questioned by reporters about how they could say such things while refusing to provide any kind of education to 50% of their young, the spokesman said "That is still 50% more than Michael Gove delivers"