Chief Cashier for the Bank of England Chris Salmon was proud to announce the latest tool in currency fraud prevention at the recent release of the new £50 note; the use of Comic Sans for all text. He added, “no one would be seen dead using Comic Sans any more, not even hardened criminals, so we’re pretty sure that this will bring an end to bank note forgery”. The new note features numerous extra security details, such as ‘Motion-Thread’ and an extra wrinkly Queen watermark, but Salmon is convinced that use of the Devil’s Font for high-tech ‘micro-text’ and traditional phrases is just what the currency-development industry needs.
The Queen was said to be delighted at the font change on the new note, describing it as “refreshingly modern,” however as a notorious techno-phobe she is known only to use Times New Roman and has no concept of the damage the new font will do to her international credibility.
Fred Splash, much-loved banknote forger, has already shown that the new measures are working by refusing to print Sterling from now on. “I don’t think I could bear the shame of it,” he commented from his Dartmoor cell. “Even Euros are more credible now.”