In a shock move today BBC officials announced that they will no longer be showing Match of the Day in its current format and will replace the football show with technology from EA Sports' award-winning FIFA2012 game. The move comes after researchers from the BBC Archive Unit analysed 20 years of MOTD and identified around 200 standard phrases that comprised 98% of the programme's dialogue.
"We have worked closely with the team at EA Sports and now feel that we have a viable replacement for Lineker, Hansen and all the other rich ex-footballers sponging off the license payer," said a BBC exective, "Now we'll have two schoolboys from the home town of the clubs play each other on a PS3 while the enhanced commentary lets the viewers know what the names of the players are. The real big saving in these austere times is that we won't have to pay anyone anymore as long as the lads get plenty of Red Bull and Doritos we should be sorted."
Fans representative, Bob Crotch, set about allaying fears that this would change things for fellow fans, "I've seen the pilot show and really not much has changed. They still have the theme tune that we all love and the football seems real enough except that the players don't spit as much. All in all it's good for us fans as the money saved will be allow the BBC to make more costume dramas that keep the wife happy while we're down the pub."
The BBC Archive Unit has become an important tool in the Corporation's bid to bring down spending. It is currently working on Eastenders scripts and output from the News 24 channel where researchers feel that a stock of less that 100 phrases could replace the presenters. The spokesperson continued, "We realised Match of the Day was possible when people didn't notice that we'd digitised David Attenborough."