November 14th was Student Finance Day, organised to help prospective university students understand the new fees system. Events took place up and down the country, after shocking survey results revealed that up to a third of people considering entering higher education next year were either too stupid to understand the new system, or too lazy to bother looking into it.
A reasonable level of intelligence and the ability to work on your own initiative are generally considered to be essential qualities for anybody attending university. After an alarming number of people claimed not to fully understand the newly introduced fees it was decided that something needed to be done to give everybody an equal chance at crippling debts.
‘If these kids want to put off getting a job for another 3 years by going to uni, and doing media studies or something, then who are we to stand in their way? Why shouldn’t they have the chance to accumulate massive debts just because they’re a bit lazy, or not very bright?’ said Martin Lewis, a supporter of the events, ‘We’ve set up workshops to try and explain the arrangement in much simpler terms; this seemed like a much better idea than gently pointing out that university might not really be for them.’.