Dunstable Town council has announced it is to take drastic action to reduce the growing problem of obesity inflicting the town. From the 1st of January all fast food restaurants and takeaways will be fitted with weight sensitive trap doors, Everyone entering these establishments will be automatically measured for their height and weight, if there body mass index is deemed to high the trap door will open and they will fall through the trap doors in to a subterrainium network of tunnels all leading to a Fitness First gym. Only after a long workout will the customers be released and then only via a salad bar. Alan Moorehouse spokesman for Dunstable Town Council said “For years we blamed congestion in the town on a lack of a new bypass, but after a recent traffic survey it became clear that the town centre was clogging up not with traffic but with slow moving fat people. Many of these people have taken to using mobility scooters as they are too lazy to walk. Only last week the fire brigade had to release two women who had managed to jam their scooters in the entrance to Mac Donald’s causing it to close for 5 hours” Reaction to the councils plan has been mixed with some residents claiming it is fatist while others believing it will herald a new prosperity to Dunstable by freeing the town of the serious congestion that has plagued it for years. One resident Pauline Haze said “I think it’s a brilliant idea, all they need to do now is find a way of ridding the town centre of teenagers and old people and it will be perfect here”
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Dunstable Town council takes drastic action on a weighty problem.
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dvo4fun
offlineMemberIt's not all bad though godley. I once learned to speak Esparanto whilst waiting to cross the A5 en route from Whipsnade zoo on a Friday lunchtime.
Like the sub - maybe a few more paragraphs. And I wonder if tweaking the last bit would make it snappier. Maybe not. Just a thought
“I think it’s a brilliant idea. To make it perfect here, all they need to do now is find a way of ridding the town centre of teenagers and old people.”
Posted 1 year ago #
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