As average salaries top £106k, GPs are finding it increasingly difficult to fit in patient appointments between trips to the opera and games of golf. 'We do like to see the odd one when we can but they don't seem to appreciate how much time it takes to improve one's handicap' complains Dr Satya Gupta, who earns a modest £250k pa and contends with 9000 patients on his lists. 'My tailor earns more than I do' he recently quipped during a rare weekend visit to his 'Rajgrove' country estate.
BMA spokesman Dr Tarquin Butman recently claimed NHS reforms are 'staggeringly wasteful'. He told an ethics committee 'positive work life balance can only be achieved if patients are less demanding. The number of times we get asked to see someone who's not actually at death's door is criminal'. Dr Butman, who collects fine art, went on to say 'there's an unreasonable expectation today that doctors are always available when people need them but you can't just leave in the middle of Der Rosenkavalier's third act'. Outside the BMA he refused any further comment before driving off at high speed in a vintage Aston DB6 Volante.
Doctors are trying to offset burgeoning lifestyle costs by charging 40p for incoming phonecalls and £20 per appointment in a bid to deter patients from attending surgeries. Labour's renegotiated contracts mean that GPs are now obliged to fund their own foreign holidays, polo matches and promotional race days in addition to domestic staff wages.
Dr Butman's home will be opening to the public from next april.