Following a brief Police witch hunt, a firework has today apologised for the devastating pile up that occurred on the M5 on Friday evening.
The "Star Bombs" firework from the Cosmic Display gift set has admitted responsibility for one of the largest and most catastrophic pile ups on UK roads in recent years.
The tiny 4" box was said by friends to be inconsolable today when the full consequences of its display on Friday night hit home.
Close friend Moonburst Cake said, "Star Burst is beside himself. To be honest, we all are. We never realised there were so many fecking muppets on the UK roads not looking where they are driving. Obviously we are mortified that the Daily Mail and the Police have found us to be totally responsible for the carnage that has been caused on the roads. We definitely support a crack down on firework displays over a re-examination of personal accountability and responsbility".