Energy companies involved in fracking breathed a sigh of relief today as the Institute of Risible Studies released a report blaming hen night shenanigans for tremors off the Fylde Coast. Shocks of up to magnitude 2.3 have caused consternation amongst locals as reports came in of people 'feeling a bit funny' and 'wondering if a big lorry had driven past their house'.
"Blackpool is famous for it's night life which attracts large hen parties" said researcher Professor Formby. "I have recently spent several weekends in close proximity to various hen nights gathering data. It's dangerous work and I had to burn my lab coat afterwards. The impact of these, often generously proportioned, ladies hitting the town can often register on the Richter scale."
The gutters of Blackpool seafront are specially reinforced to cope with high impact but the local council is now looking into ways of reducing the seismic effect of slappers, possibly by the introduction of no screeching zones and selective humane culling.
